April Showers Bring May Flowers

Happy Spring! Now is the time to plant those seeds of your growth and water them! What do I mean?…...
April 1, 2022

Happy Spring! Now is the time to plant those seeds of your growth and water them! What do I
mean? I mean, now is the perfect time to; write and burn goodbye letters to your abuser, get
all of the books I have recommended over the years and start reading/working them, get a
damn good trauma therapist, go low or no contact with abusive or toxic people, do things that
you have always wanted to do, but your abuser would never allow like taking a class or doing a
hobby, let yourself to do self-care as in make that dental appointment, get that physical, see
the dermatologist, take that dance class you always wanted to take, reconnect with the family
and friends that genuinely love you, plan a trip, go where you always wanted to go, see what
you always wanted to see, try new foods, learn a new language, practice mirror work daily
(twice a day), meditate, do yoga, go for long walks, join a gym, go to a meetup, go hiking, get
back in touch with your body, drink plenty of water daily, eat healthy foods but allow yourself
cheat meals every so often, make sure to have days where you do absolutely nothing but binge
watch your favorite show, go see movies with your friends, make sure you have work/life
balance, quit that abusive job and find a healthier one where you are respected and valued and
heard, and last but certainly not least, make time to remember who you were BEFORE the
abuser marched in and turned your life upside down! Also, massive spoiler alert: All of these
suggestions are all really self-care. All of these suggestions are planting seeds for your growth
and your happiness and really for your future.

Intermittent Positive Reward Withdrawal

Intermittent Positive Reward Withdrawal

Congratulations! You’ve left the abusive relationship! Now, you are starting to have post acute withdrawal symptoms just like when someone stops using drugs or alcohol. Our brains have been conditioned by the intermittent positive rewards that the abuser would bestow...

03-07-2021 THE DRAMA AND COMMUNICATION TRIANGLE

03-07-2021 THE DRAMA AND COMMUNICATION TRIANGLE

In This episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the dreaded drama triangle (Villain, Victim, Hero) and the dreaded triangulation of communication. She goes over how to step out of both sets of dysfunctional triangles and how to stay out!

Abuse and Addictions

Abuse and Addictions

Something I have seen over and over again in my practice is that abuse and addiction go hand in hand with an abuser. Granted, we, the targets are addicted to the intermittent positive rewards, but the abusers? Oh, they have a whole slew of addictions of anything from...