Ruining The Holidays

Why? Why do abusers LOVE to either try to ruin the holidays or to try and hoover their exes during…...
December 2, 2020

Why? Why do abusers LOVE to either try to ruin the holidays or to try and hoover their exes during the holidays? Abusers do NOT have empathy, they do NOT feel real joy, or love, or any real emotion other than anger. When they see people having real joy, real love, real happiness they become enraged, because they cannot feel what you are feeling and it pisses them off that you have something that they do not.

Also, they cannot stand not being the center of attention. When an abuser sees someone being happy they will become vindictive and start a fight, do a pity party or create drama in order to put the attention back on them and to create the only emotion they are okay with, which is anger. They hoover exes during the holiday season because they are in desperate need of ego supply.

The chances of being successful doing a hoover of an ex increases when they can use the “walk down memory lane” and usually in that first few months of the hoover, the holidays were used to love bomb. The target of abuse then “forgets” all the bad things and becomes enthralled with the previous love bomb and the current love bomb and the target starts thinking that the abuser has changed. Nope. They are love bombing because whoever their supply was has left them and they need an ego stroke.

Abusers will hoover even decades later when they have run out of ego supply. The best way to deal with abusers any time but especially during the holidays is NO CONTACT. Do not invite them to gatherings and do not fall for the Hoover. They will intentionally set out to ruin your holiday or to hoover you back into abuse.

09-26-2021 – PLAYING KEEPAWAY IN DIVORCE

09-26-2021 – PLAYING KEEPAWAY IN DIVORCE

In this episode of “We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez” Kris discusses parental alienation, the hows and why’s of parental alienation and how that effects the kids, both the little kids and grown adult children. Why would a parent do such a thing? More importantly, how can you help your child if the ex starts trying to smear you and alienate you from your child’s affections. What therapies work with younger children? Kris answers the question of what kids of all ages really need from their parent. At around the half hour mark Kris answers listeners questions on abusive/toxic relationships and questions on mental health in general.

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