‘Tis the season for Narcissistic family members, exes, and frenemies to wreak havoc on
the holidays. Why do narcissists intentionally ruin the holidays? So many reasons!
Remember, you are dealing with someone who has the emotional capacity of an 18-
month-old on a good day, if the wind is blowing in the right direction. Essentially, a
toddler in an adult body. As such, whatever childhood wounds they have will be on full
display during the holidays with zero logic and zero impulse control.
Narcissists cannot stand to see people genuinely happy. They will never experience
true happiness the way you and I do. Genuine emotions enrage them; they cannot truly
feel them. Since they cannot feel the emotion, they need to ruin it for the rest of us.
They also cannot stand to NOT be the center of attention and will do anything, and I do
mean anything, to become the center of attention. Anything from starting a fight, getting
rip roaring drunk, being antagonistic, trying to discuss inappropriate topics, trying to
humiliate someone, asking inappropriate questions, being insanely judgy to, when they
do not gain the attention they believe they deserve, becoming suddenly ill and needing
to leave the gathering.
So, what can you do? The simple answer is not to allow them anywhere near you. You
are under no obligation to have them at your house. You do not have to socialize with
them at someone else’s house. You can start your own traditions that do not involve
disordered family, friends, or exes.
The question I always ask is “If you were not related to this person or these people,
would you have anything to do with them?” If your answer is “No!” act accordingly. You
owe them nothing.
Disordered Step Parents
You’ve divorced and ironed out a custody agreement. Before the ink has dried, your ex has remarried. The person they married has decided that you are the Anti-Christ, and their job is to erase and punish you and your children. They have a personality disorder just...
