Have you ever wondered about the role of spirituality in your recovery from abuse? Marcia Diane, and Kris discuss spirituality, karma, and energy in the recovery from abuse. We discuss the nature of karma, what it is, what it isn’t, and why waiting for someone to “Get theirs!” is a complete waste of time and energy.
Marcia also discusses the 21 books she has written, the blogs she posts, and talks about her mastery program offered through her website, marciadiane.com. We also discuss art, creativity, and how to use those talents to heal from abuse. At the end, we answer listener questions on all of the above!
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Hello and welcome to We Need To Talk with Kris Godinez podcast. I’m your host Kris Godinez, licensed professional counselor. I help people get out of, and stay out of, toxic relationships. This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only the views and opinions stated herein are mine and mine alone. They do not represent the ACA, the APA or any other therapist for that matter.
I want to thank my sponsor betterhelp.com. They are an online therapy company. Whether you are in the US or international. They will set you up with a qualified licensed therapist. PhD level or Master’s level. If you are interested in more information, go to betterhelp.com/krisgodinez.
So, announcements, I will be in Santa Barbara on February 18. So, if you are interested in that, go to krisgodinez.com. I will also be in Vancouver on May… thinking, thinking May 20. So, Vancouver BC on May 20. Those tickets are available on krisgodinez.com. So very excited to introduce my guest. But one thing I want to do is the current events.
So, current events, something that has come to my attention is the lack, and it’s always been there, but it’s the lack of compassion. And it’s the lack of gratitude that abusers have. And if you look at any of abuser, you know, whether that be a dictator, or whether that be a police officer that’s beating somebody while they’re screaming for their mother or whether it be, you know, the abuser that is abusing your family, you know, they have no compassion, none! Zip, zilch, nada. And they have no appreciation for the beauty that is right in front of them. They don’t appreciate anything. So, when you are looking at the news, and you read things that are just horrifying, like, you know, dictatorships or police officers’ brutality or politicians not caring about their constituents or whatever, you are witnessing disordered people, that’s all I can say about that is that if somebody in a position of power has no compassion, and no appreciation, no gratitude, they shouldn’t be in a position of power. And again, we the people are the only ones that kick them out. So, I just wanted to remind you of that. So anyway, all right.
Today, I have got my buddy Marsha Diane, she is a licensed professional counselor, counselor. She’s also licensed LISA which is licensed
Marcia Diane 02:45
Licensed independent substance abuse. Thank you.
Kris Godinez 02:49
So many letters. I’m like, what do they all mean? So all addictions, oh, man, which is awesome. So, she has written a book, she has gotten the Mastery program. It’s called essential, mastery. And her books can be found on marciadiane.com. So, John, if you could put her website up, slash books, John, if you could put Marshadiane.com up there so that they can find her and then slash books if they’re interested in the book.
So, a lot of people have been asking me about karma. A lot of people have been, you know, like, why, why did we get involved in and you guys realize I’m a Buddhist? So, um, so why did this happen? Why is this happening over and over again? You know, what’s the deal? So can you talk a little bit about your book, because I think it’d be really helpful for those of us who believe in karma, and etc.
Marcia Diane 03:39
Thank you, Kris. Thanks for having me on the show. Thanks for being here and listening. I’m very excited to be here. So that’s my maiden voyage. This is the book that I wrote when COVID hit. So COVID hit and took everybody down and took me to my computer and had me pour out my heart and soul of all these things that I’ve been wanting to tell people. I have a private practice now, after working 20 years in agencies, and so I’m so glad to just work with people, one on one with couples because there’s so many things that people don’t know. Oh, yeah. So the book is called Thriving in Unprecedented Times. And these are indeed unprecedented times in a number of ways, not only from COVID, how to resolve karma using timeless techniques. So, I’m fascinated by karma. And so, I will tell you a little bit about that. Some people think karma is just what goes around comes around. And that’s the basics, I guess, of karma or the law of cause and effect. But there are so many intricacies to what karma really is. So basically, karma is what drives this physical world. It’s what it’s what makes us move forward. It’s what propels us, good or bad, right? And we get to change our karma really at any time by change. Changing our mindset, which changes our emotions and helps us change our actions, right, and it’s changing our actions that changes our karma.
Kris Godinez 05:07
Exactly. And I think that is something that we often get hit with. It’s like, why is this happening? And why is this happening over and over again? And what is going on? And, you know, confusion is, I, you know, for sure, it’s like, looking back at my family, I was just kind of like, what the hell? Why did I pick these people? What the hell, you know, so But honestly, if I didn’t have my dad as my dad, I probably wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing today. And I wouldn’t be helping people. So, there’s always some weird reason. And karma is not just, oh, that’s the other thing. People often who’ve gone through abuse, they’re like, I want to see them get theirs. Oh, I want to see them get theirs. And karma doesn’t always happen in our lifetime, guys. It doesn’t. So, it was watching somebody else get what’s coming to them. We may never see; we may never see. And it’s not really our job.
Marcia Diane 06:05
So, you just brought up a whole host of topics. Okay, cool. Okay, so one thing it’s important to know is karma follows this life to life. So, it’s important. It’s important for me to understand that reincarnation is real. Because otherwise, if you just have this one life, some people just have two days, some people have two years, some people have 20, and some people have 100. Why all that difference? And it doesn’t seem fair if you just get the one life, and then you’re done. And then you go to heaven or hell that. That never made any sense to me. But once I delved into spiritual teachings, and I’m not a Buddhist, I studied Buddhism in many, many, many other spiritual paths, paths. So, my teaching is kind of a conglomeration of a number of different paths. And in this book, I like to quote different sources, different teachers, across countries, across cultures, across time, that a lot of times say the same thing. So, you’re going a lot of that and interwoven with my thoughts about a number of different topics. And then there’s stories that follow each section. So, there’ll be a topic and a story, and the story will kind of illustrate, in personal detail, how it plays out. All the stories are correct, all are accurate, and none of the names are accurate. I’ve changed them to protect the innocent and sometimes changed a couple of the details around them. So nobody could figure out what I’m talking about. Right. But I think that’s really important. What I’d like to do is start off by kind of giving you a rundown of what this book contains. Because there’s so much interesting information in here that I don’t think is found really anywhere else. So, there are three parts to the book. The first part is reality, personal and universal. I get into karma defined. So, what is karma and all the ins and outs of that self-authority, how you can gain self-authority, which is really important, especially if you’re a victim of abuse because you don’t want to continue to be the victim, you want to now become the hero of your story. And the self-authority part really can help you with that. The next part of part one, or section, is flight from flight, fight or freeze to flow.
Kris Godinez 08:25
Yes, because that’s we get so stuck in that right, we get so stuck in that. So, this is something, honestly, that we’ve been talking about quite a bit is that when we get triggered, we get stuck in the freeze the fight, you know, whatever. And years later, like I know for me, when I get triggered, I go straight to fight. I do. It’s like, bring it you know, and I’m just like, what the Yeah,
Marcia Diane 08:51
It’s a brain chemistry thing. You know, our brains will produce these chemicals when we feel threatened. I’m a, and I’m a flight person. I’m not a fighter like you. I’m a fighter, but I’m a quiet fighter, but I’m like, I’m out of here. I can deal with this. Because part of my karmic path or place that I’m in right now is I don’t want to create more karma, right? I want to be loving. I want to be a channel and a vehicle for God. That’s a big part of who I am. And so, fighting sometimes just means trouble. When I was younger, and a teenager especially, I did a lot of fighting. Right. And that was not good for me. Right? I’ve also had a lot of abuse in my path, started with my dad being overbearing and OCD like a controller, and then all of my boyfriends and husbands kind of followed suit.
Kris Godinez 09:41
And this isn’t, isn’t this interesting? So, both of us have had families of origin that were abusive or had issues or whatever. And that inner child inside of us looks outside and goes, Okay, someone who kind of reminds me of them, let’s go for it. But do they feel comfortable? They feel familiar. So, remember what I talked about, guys, if it feels familiar, in not a good way to read this book. Yeah, yeah, totally agree.
Marcia Diane 10:05
Yeah, life gives us clues all the time. We don’t know what to look for them. We’re not paying attention. We’re just trying to fight, or we’re trying to flee or we’re trying to search our patterns, our, and our patterns and karma are kind of the same thing. You know, our karma creates our patterns, and we get stuck. And so, we decide we’re going to get unstuck. And that’s not the easy way. But it is the better way. Because that can help us to go wherever it is that we want to go. I write a lot about that. Okay, so the part two is a lot about what you’re talking about. It’s called seeing and overcoming challenges. And it gets into personal challenges, opportunities that you can take to get out of whatever situations that you’re in. And there are a lot about past lives and reincarnation because it’s really important to understand that to understand why you’re in the position that you’re in, and what you can do about it, and how you cannot repeat that in this life. And in your next life, or the next and the next and the next. Exactly, and how you can also cut off those ties to the perpetrator. Yes, yes. Because the perpetrators don’t have to follow you. If you say no more, then you clean up that, that thread, or that tie to that person exactly to that archetype.
Kris Godinez 11:22
Well, and not just that, but when you’re dealing with a crazy abuser, like a dark triad, like they’re psychopathic. They’re narcissistic, and they’re Machiavellian control freaks. They don’t want to relinquish control. And so, they do all of these mind games that make the target of abuse feel like they can’t get rid of them. Like they’re living up here. Like a frickin alien parasite, right? Yeah. sucking your energy, sucking your, your happiness.
Marcia Diane 11:53
Your confidence, all the good things that you want to develop? Yeah. So yes, first, you have to disconnect, and you have to protect yourself from them. I’ll just give a little tip on protection, because we all need protection. This is one of the first things I teach my clients in my private practice. I call it grounding and shielding. Yes. So, grounding yourself to the earth, because we are in many things, but partially we are electrical, and all electrical appliances need to be grounded. So, in a nutshell, if you just sit and do a like a little spiritual exercise, and imagine from the bottom of your spinal column, connecting, like with a core to the earth.
Kris Godinez 12:28
That’s your first chakra. That’s what she’s talking about is the first chakra root
Marcia Diane 12:32
chakra that connects all the other shops into your entire body. Yeah, so you ground yourself, you just, you do that until you really feel that right. And it’s important to not just think it, but to put it into action and to feel it.
Kris Godinez 12:45
Which is why meditation is so important, guys, this is what I keep talking about. It’s like meditation is not just ohm and crossing your legs and, you know, whatever. It’s literally reconnecting with your body. Because how out of our bodies are we after we’d been abused? I don’t know about you. But I was floating like four feet above my body that isn’t even in my body was completely unconscious. So, it’s about getting back in your body, reconnecting with your body, reconnecting with the earth, and mindfulness. This is all part of mindfulness. So, this isn’t just woowoo Oh, my God, let’s just go out into the metaphysical. This is mindfulness. It really is.
Marcia Diane 13:21
So, like practical spirituality, or practical spiritual, because we are spiritual beings having a human experience, I believe that we are who we are a soul. That’s the part of us that goes life to life to life, right? We don’t take our body, obviously, that goes into the ground decay, or it’s burned up or whatever you do with it. But our minds, our subconscious, and our emotional system, our astral body, some people call it, some of that can follow us. But a lot of times, it doesn’t, especially as you go up the ladder, from one level to another, one realm to another. And ultimately, I believe, and because I’ve experienced this, we will enter and live in this soul plains. And we’re told those lower bodies are no longer available, right? That’s when you’ve achieved overcoming all this crap that you’ve been through, right? Good news is you can overcome it. And there’s help that knows how to do it. Briefly, the third part of the book is called harnessing the dragon. So how do you harness your inner dragon? Remember, in the movie Avatar, where, you know, the guy jumps on the dragon and he connects to the dragon as far as a pony tail to the dragon’s tail, or whatever it is, and they can act, and you can connect to this really powerful part of yourself. So, I get into that.
Kris Godinez 14:43
And that’s the thing that’s important, guys. You’re not a victim. You’re not. You have been victimized, but you have power. You have power. Nobody knows you better than you. The abuser loves to tell you, Oh, I know you better than yourself. Screw that noise. You know you better than yourself. This is a great way to start tapping into your own power. Go ahead. Sorry, I just have to say that.
Marcia Diane 15:05
You know yourself, but you can you don’t know enough about yourself. You don’t know the power of yourself yet. And trusting is really important. Yeah, trust and surrender to the higher power, whatever your higher power may be. I get into visionary leadership; I get into chakras as portals. So, some of you know we have chakras, along our spine, and even out of the body, and even in our hands and feet. Don’t really get into that in the book. But our chakras are portals to the space outside of ourselves. And we can connect to various places through these portals. And we can do it all spiritual exercises to release ourselves from the confines of our physical body, which a lot of times people want to do if they’re in physical pain, but emotional pain too, because emotional pain is kind of worse than physical pain. It’s insidious, isn’t it just last forever.
Kris Godinez 15:56
And it also connects us to our protection because if you if you look at the chakras, they are connected to the layers of the aura. The aura is what keeps us from getting; it’s kind of like that shield that protects us from the energy in coming. And when I ask people to look at because I do with my clients, I ask them, it’s like, okay, you’re telling me you’re fatigued, you’re telling me you’re feeling rundown? If you were to look at your energy around you, what does it look like and half the time they tell me, it’s just tattered like there’s nothing there. And that’s because they’ve had so much hit them energetically, i.e., the abuser abusing verbally, that there’s just no protection left. And so, it’s really important to ground reconnect, feel your energy, reform that energy shield and check in with it daily. Sorry, go ahead.
Marcia Diane 16:48
So, the shielding part of grounding and shielding, just to get back to that briefly, is imagining an energetic boundary. So, this is your boundary that you’re creating. Imagine how you’re like, an egg shape, or like an arm’s distance length all around your body and underneath your feet too Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, so protecting you. And I always tell people to call upon your higher power, whoever that may be, might be Archangel Michael, or Ascended Masters or Jesus or whoever you feel comfortable with your higher power, call that being whose real being, and they can help you look for holes in your aura. Because we can get holes in our aura from a past life, deaths, and all kinds of stuff. So, the first time I ever did this was when I was doing my internship for getting my degree in counseling, and I was working in a residential treatment center with teenage girls and listening to their stories of horrible sexual abuse and all kinds of abuse when they were children. And so, I found this particular technique. And when I started doing it, I started checking my inner guidance said to check for holes, and I found a whole quadrant. Like my whole lower right quadrant was either shaky or nonexistent. I was like, what, and I realized that that was from being killed in a past life with an X through my kidney up from the bottom anyway. So, we all have that because we’ve all lived lots of past lives. Frankly, you might not hear those, but we’ve lived past lives as perpetrators as well as victims. Because the soul needs to understand and experience all these different things. So, I think the good news is your perpetrator is going to be a victim in another life to another.
Kris Godinez 18:29
But we may not get to see it. To be clear about that.
Marcia Diane 18:34
That’s very, that’s very important. And at some point, you might get to the point where you don’t even want to see it. You don’t want revenge anymore. You just want to you just want to ascend let go like go back to the place where I wanted to send love Yeah, to the abusers right, even to the politicians who I love who I think are screwing everybody up. I started getting to send them up. That took a lot of work. Because it’s like, oh, like does person.
Kris Godinez 18:59
I’m not quite there yet. It’s kind of fun after a while. When I finally got to, though, and I had a hard time with it is I wish them enlightenment. Because that can be painful too like, I wish you enlightenment.
Marcia Diane 19:14
I mean, divine love. Yeah, yeah. No,
Kris Godinez 19:17
No, like agape. Yeah.
Marcia Diane 19:19
So just to finish up talking about the book aside, I don’t know.
Kris Godinez 19:24
Yeah, we got 10 more minutes. Okay.
Marcia Diane 19:26
So, I do talk about mental illness in this book and its relationship with karma, and also about abuse and domestic violence,
Kris Godinez 19:32
Which I think is important to read. So honestly, I mean, I think this book is really great. And it obviously goes along with my belief system. So, this is this is a great book. If you’re interested in in karma if you’re interested in chakras if you’re interested in healing. Something I did want to mention is that what I tell my clients when they’re dealing with the connections with the I call them hooks because it looks like an octopus who’s drawn like that to them. I have them imagine a psychic Dyson or whichever your favorite brand of vacuum is, and like Okay, imagine someplace safe. You’re standing there, you’ve got a magic psychic Dyson, you’re going to take the Dyson and you’re going to vacuum off all of their energy and you’re going to fill it up. And as soon as the Dyson completely full, you’re going to put a big, huge ball and hit it up, and you’re going to pull it out over the ocean. Sitting in front of you is a TNT plunger; you’re going to plunge that TNT all that negative energy is going to go right back to them. And then you fill yourself up with your own energy, you call your own energy back that they have stolen because abusers, I don’t know if you guys have noticed this or not. They’re notorious. They’re like psychic vampires, right? They’re notorious for just sucking us dry. And when we’re with them, we feel exhausted, we feel fatigued, we feel and we’re like, what’s going on? Well, they’re taking all our energy. So, if we’re dealing with an abuser, who’s a narcissist, who is a psychopath, who’s needing constant validation, constant attention constantly, you are pouring all your energy into this person who’s now hoarding it. They’re not using it. They’re not there. They’re not believing you. They’re not listening to you. They’re not, you know, they’re abusing you. But they don’t want you to have the energy either. Isn’t that interesting? Abusers don’t want you to have anything that they can’t have. So, if you’re giving them all your energy, they’re just holding on to it. They’re not doing anything with it.
Marcia Diane 21:28
Or worse they can use it like food and refuel to pour it back. narcissistic
Kris Godinez 21:34
Supply, that’s what she’s talking about, is narcissistic. So, they take your energy, and then they twist things, flip the script, and shove it back at you. Which is why once you leave an abuser, once you’re out of their realm of existence, cutting all those cords shielding yourself. I know this is out into the land of woo-woo here, guys, but I’m telling you, it works. I’m almost 58 years old. I have been practicing this since I was in my late 20s. Okay, it works. It does. So, this is why I hang around people like Marsha Diane. Thank you very much. Um, so you want to get rid of all of their energy, all of their nastiness, all of their cords, all of their BS, call your own energy back to you and get rid of anything that reminds you of them. So, I know something that a lot of targets of abuse do is they go through that period of self-doubt, like nobody’s business, like, Oh, my God, didn’t do the right thing. And so, they have all these pictures, and they have like mementos, get rid of them. Give everything carries energy, cleanse, cleanse the house, get rid of it. You don’t need it. They’ve shown you who they are. They have abused you. Healthy, normal people do not abuse, period.
Marcia Diane 22:43
So, I’d like to bring up another point of how the abusers when they suck their energy really damage you. Because we are spiritual beings. And God is the Creator. We are like a pebble off the mountain. We are creators. Our nature is to be creative. But when we’ve been in these types of relationships, we have lost our creativity. And it’s our creativity that helps us to come up with these types of visualizations, spiritual exercises, these new ways of looking at things that are our own. So, we can use people who’ve already been through it to give you some ideas, but then you create your own, your own and it becomes a lot of fun.
Kris Godinez 23:23
Absolutely. And that’s boy, God, we could talk for hours on that one. The other thing that a lot of people have been writing in and telling me is like, Oh my God, I don’t trust myself anymore. I don’t have the ability to laugh anymore. My humor has been taken from me. And that’s what they want guys. They want to sell out. And what makes us separate from them is we feel we love we have compassion, we appreciate what’s in front of us. And like Marsha was saying, it’s like, we are creative. They’re not. They’re just mimickers. They can’t have real emotions. They wear a mask. They’re not genuine. They’re not authentic. So of course, they’re going to try to take your sense of humor, your sense of creativity, your singing voice I’ve had some of them tell me they can’t sing anymore, because they may find them singing. Yeah. So, anything that was special to you that you used to do, and the abuser made fun of it. That’s exactly what you need to be doing. Exactly.
Marcia Diane 24:17
So, let’s talk about a couple more things. Yes. Okay. Yeah,
Kris Godinez 24:20
We got five minutes and then we want to talk about your mastery thing.
Marcia Diane 24:24
Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. Um, okay, because I was going to talk about that. Okay. So, when you go to marshadiane.com/books, there’s many different tabs. The books has been I’ve written 21 books actually.
Marcia Diane 24:45
You know, for a short period of time, the first this quote, thread an unprecedented times was written in 2022, right? And published in 2022. But before then starting around 2008 and Hey, I started studying Kabbalah, which is a very powerful spiritual program. And I wrote some books that I called Visual mantras, but they’re using the 72 names of God with all these different prayers that I made up. They’re using the power of those particular images because images have power. Yeah. And the Hebrew letters have power of their own. So anyway, you can go on my website and look at them and kind of peruse them. Their Kindle books, there’s some of them are just 10 meditations. So, you can pick them on healing or fear or any of them. 18 different I call them daughter books because there’s only 10, and they’re shorter. They’re under $5. So, they’re super cheap. And they’re on Kindle so you can keep them on your phone and access someone you’re in a pinch when you’re feeling terrible when you don’t know what to do a pull up, you know, meditation, and it can pull you right back into yourself. It’s connected you with your higher power.
Kris Godinez 25:55
And this is huge guys. And we have a really hard time reaching out for help because we feel like we’re a burden. Or we feel like oh, no, I don’t want to bother somebody. Look, these books are here for you. My books are there for you. Other people’s books are there for you. Go get them, use them. Use the resources. Use what you’ve got. So, because that’s why we’re here.
Marcia Diane 26:15
Yeah. Yeah. I want to talk about your painting. Yeah, Kris commissioned me to paint.
Kris Godinez 26:21
She’s a painter. And I mentioned those. She’s a painter.
Marcia Diane 26:23
A lot of my paintings are also on the website. Right started. Then I got into writing. Then I got into teaching a course, which we’ll talk about later. But anyway, when I painted St. Michael for you, I had already created these books called for help. They’re called messages from God seekers. So, 21, ascended masters, and messages for God’s seekers. So, I added St. Michael, first of all for women and 10 for members or 10 Men, ascended masters and 10 Female Ascended Masters. And I put them all together because I thought, why I have two books. And then I’m like, 21 has a better number than 20.
Kris Godinez 27:01
Right online? Yes, it is.
Marcia Diane 27:06
I love it. And then the Kindle book, I think it’s in color.
Kris Godinez 27:08
So, a lot of Yeah, I love my St. Michael picture because like, I asked her to do it, because we were dealing with city council members that were very less than honorable. Let’s put it that way. And they were trying to push through this water park that was going to destroy our neighborhood, basically. And so, I said, St. Michael, if you can make this not happen, I swear to you, I will put up a picture in my house. I put up a picture in my house. And they recently tried to do it again. Pray to St. Michael. And it got quashed. So, thank you, St. Michael. Love it. Tell us about St. Michael’s warrior. So, I really love him because he’s got the sword in the shield. So, you know, the whole warrior thing. Apparently, I haven a thing for.
Marcia Diane 27:50
While I want to add that not only do you have a picture, the original painting, it’s four feet by four feet. It’s huge. So, I want to encourage you to do your personal growth work and your spiritual work in a huge way.
Kris Godinez 28:04
Don’t be small.
Marcia Diane 28:07
Yeah, take massive action. Yeah, that’s a Tony Robbins, whatever word massive action, yes, action, that’s going to move you forward, propel the needle much, much quicker, and just kind of taking it down.
Kris Godinez 28:20
So, speaking of taking massive action, tell us about your mastery course because I think this can help people so.
Marcia Diane 28:27
So, a friend of mine came out of nowhere that I met like 47 years ago, we were good friends and in a spiritual program. And he found out about this way to put a lot of what I do with clients, one on one into a course and a membership program. So, we decided to go in on that together. John says tech brains. I am not a tech person. Now I’m a right brain left-handed, you know, creative writer, artist, of course, creation and all that stuff. I love that part. But it’s actually manifest and put it up. So, I’m going to John’s helping me with that. Anyway, we decided to call the course Essential Mastery. So that is mastering the essentials of your life. Yes. So, it definitely gets into helping people to identify what they need to get over their chronic negative thoughts and emotions. And I mean, it’s just a, it’s a six-module course very intensive. And it’s not going to be available, always. I mean, we’re doing it in increments. So I can focus on the people that come in as a group. So, we had a founding member launch, and now we’re going to have another launch. Not sure where that’s going to be. We’re kind of revamping things and making it better, especially making the page where you get to look at what it looks like better. But if you go on my website, the first thing that you’ll get to be a way to put your email address and name in there so that you can get on my blog list, which I forgot to say I produced three blogs a month. And I think they’re really good. And they address real-life problems with spiritual solutions because that’s what I’m all about spiritual solutions, psychological solutions, working with all of who you are, to master yourself and to get rid of the crap that you’ve been lugging around with you, and that you’re allowed to follow you and get into your life.
Kris Godinez 30:22
Right. And a lot of it is a lot of the self-esteem stuff that we got, oh my god, it’s the lies, the lies that have been shoved into our space from the abusers, whether they were parents, or whether they were lovers or bosses or whatever, and we believed them. And we don’t even know that that programming is running, right, that that negative inner critic is just running in the background.
Marcia Diane 30:47
You know, it’s hard to get rid of, it’s hard to change. Like, they all started with me with my father being having to be a perfectionist having to do everything his way and doing it just so I would get in trouble, or I would get punished somehow that was very unpleasant. And then of course, I married men that were similar or neglectful, I tried to go the opposite direction. Awesome. I did that too. So, being an introvert and being able to do the writing and the art and the course creation, and all the stuff that comes naturally that I love to do, because I love to just, you know, get in there and get creative and outflow, like I in flow from the spiritual stuff, and then I outflow, but I, one of the last things to go was being able to get on camera, right? I never liked my picture taken, I found out in order to promote my course essential mastery, I have to make videos. I mean, it’s really took me a while to I’m comfortable finally, making videos. It took being a substance abuse counselor and treatment centers to be able to be comfortable speaking in front of audiences, it took years, and I’m 72. So, I’ve been around you, but you know what, it doesn’t matter how long it takes, it matters that you’re working toward that goal of making your life better. And it couldn’t get much better. And, you know, the trailblazers, the pioneers, pave the way through the jungle for people who are, you know, coming up behind us, so your weight is going to be a lot easier to follow than ours. I wrote my course. Because this is what I wanted to know, when I was in my 20s and suffering and got into, you know, kinds of stuff.
Kris Godinez 32:28
Yeah, absolutely. And that’s what we need. And it’s so I strong. I’ve known Marsha for years. For Yeah, it’s almost 20 years. Oh my god.
But it’s like and this is why you want to surround yourself with like-minded people because she’s awesome. And she’s always been a touchstone. And going back into when you’re looking for a therapist, these are the questions you should be asking, you know, it’s like, what is your experience with spirituality? What is your experience with karma? What is your because if you get into an abuse, because if you get into a therapist, that is Pooh poohing abuse, or Pooh-poohing karma, or Pooh poohing your spirituality, it’s going to be a cluster bleep, you know.
Marcia Diane 33:19
A lot of important ideas, and you’re going to miss out on being able to gain the confidence to explore these things yourself and go, because when people put you down, then it’s like, oh, that’s an expert. I’m not going to even look into it anymore.
Kris Godinez 33:31
Exactly. Exactly. And that’s, that’s why I think it’s so important that we talk about this part of it, because I know some people are just like, oh my god, you can’t talk about spirituality in therapy. Why not? I do what I do. I always have, I always ask, I was asked, it’s like, Hey, are you interested in going there? And if they say, Yes, I’m like, sweet, here’s what I know. Here’s what can help. So that’s like the psychic vacuum. All of that because that’s what worked for me, personally. So, and honestly, I think that’s the best kind of therapist who takes their eclectic point of view, mixes it all up, and is going, Okay, try this. Let’s see if this works for you, too, because it worked for us. So.
All right, let’s go to the questions. It looks like we do have some questions here. Doo doo doo. Do we have questions? No questions, John. I guess we don’t have questions. Well, if you guys have questions, then we can get some questions going. Um, okay,
Marcia Diane 34:25
What would be your question you would have for me, Kris.
Kris Godinez 34:28
Well, my question would be what should await here comes here comes in one. Oh, I need to make this bigger because I don’t have the right classes.
Okay, I associate spirituality with a lot of the abuses that we have seen and lived through I have trouble trusting spirituality. How do I reconnect with my spiritual side? This is a darn good question.
Marcia Diane 34:53
I think you might be confusing, and they might be confusing spirituality with religion. They’re not the same. Religion is man-made. Religion is how people have tried to put together what spirituality means. They usually follow a specific leader usually like Jesus. But then somehow it gets twisted because the people because people are evil. Not all people are going to but there are so many, especially when they gain power or want to gain power. They get into twisting it for their own agenda.
Kris Godinez 35:31
So, communal narcissists, this is what she’s talking about. Yeah.
Marcia Diane 35:35
And so, religions have really perverted spirituality. I’m not saying across the board. I’m not saying there’s nothing good in religion. But I’m saying that a lot of times, people who profess to knowing from the pulpit are really preaching hellfire and damnation. I don’t believe in that. I mean, I believe you get Hellfire damnation in this life when you have been the victim of an abuser. Yeah, right. Yeah, that’s when you’re living in hell. Yeah, you know. So anyway, I would say just keep an open mind. And try to get to a place where you can allow yourself to have an open mind, you can reject, you know, don’t trust anything that I say, test it for yourself. Look around and see if what I’m saying actually makes sense to you. But spirituality is different spirituality is who we are as a spirit, as a soul. The universe it permeates everything.
Kris Godinez 36:28
So, I think to when we’re going to go back to your question because I think this is a really good question. I think when we’ve been abused, it’s soul-killing that we go through. And we are disconnected. from whom we are, I cannot tell you the number of times I have had clients sit down on the couch and they will tell me, I don’t even know what I like to eat anymore. I can’t tell you if I like mac and cheese because my abuser has told me for years what I like what I don’t like, it’s okay, what’s not. Okay. So, I think that part of it is that we are so disconnected from ourselves. So how can we get rid? Because you’re right? Spirituality is an intensely personal thing. It’s not religion. It’s an intensely personal thing. So how can we reconnect to our own spirituality, our own sense of being? How would you recommend? Okay,
Marcia Diane 37:21
First of all, I have a little different take on your comment about soul killing, I don’t think you can kill your soul. I think you can shut it up, I think you can. I think it’s going to just shut down when you’re not paying attention to it, or you keep not listening to what you know spirit is telling you, which is to get the eff out of that abusive relationship. But, you know, we need to, we need to go through the crap that we have to go through, unfortunately, and want to put this out there. And so, the last topic, but I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of Dolores Cannon? Do you know Dolores Cannon? So, Dolores Cannon, who lived to be 84, and she died like 10 years ago or so. She took people into deep hypnosis into a theta state and interview them and regress them into past lives and in-between lives, and got them to speak their truth about where their karma came from. Wow. And some of them said, and she said because of she did this for 45 years, and interviewed over, you know, over 45,000 people and recorded their interviews and they were put all this stuff was put into 19 books that have been published more books that I remember knowledge. But anyway, she has a wealth of information. And she says that people line are so not people souls’ line up to be incarnated into bodies that are going to be abused or that have cerebral palsy or some terrible physical ailment because that’s how they work off their karma quicker. Hmm. So, they’re so as all these people have agreed to come into these horrific situations to learn things. So that’s a real different way of looking at things, right? But maybe I can give you hope that you know because you found yourself in this family or with these people, and you’ve gone through all this crap, that there’s a reason for it. And that when you get out of it, you can start seeing those reasons a lot more clearly.
Kris Godinez 39:20
Which is Also, not victim blaming. I want to be very clear about that. These are just things that, you know, Marsha finds works for her things that I find work for me belief systems. It’s not written in stone guys, it’s kind of up to the individual, you know, and that’s what I’m saying. If something doesn’t work for you, you don’t have to accept it. You can. You can find your own spirituality and going back to your question. For me, finding my connection to the spirituality was meditation, you know, and being out in nature. I’m not even kidding. You like walking through the woods getting out onto a beach. Getting back into nature. You’re getting a dog, you know. Seriously, I’m not kidding you. It’s like connecting with other sentient beings and things and, you know, trees and stuff like things, life forms. Thank you. That really helps us reconnect to what’s important to us. And I think the abusers, like you said, they muzzle us they like they’re like, ah, you know, and so really reconnecting to that whatever is going to charge your batteries is what you need to be doing. And getting back to allowing, give yourself permission to feel give yourself permission to experience that joie de vivre, that childlike wonder of wow, look at that redwoods. Whoa, that’s huge. You know that kind of thing. And that’s what they take away from us. So, yeah.
Marcia Diane 40:46
And it’s up to you to read it to reading now.
Kris Godinez 40:48
Absolutely. Okay.
Marcia Diane 40:50
Can I answer? Sure. spirituality and religion, I’m sure. Some people have been abused by their religion like
Kris Godinez 41:00
ritual abuse. Yes. So
Marcia Diane 41:02
It’s not only you know, parents, you know, clipping your wings and telling you, you know, you can have sex before marriage, you’re going to hell. I mean, that’s one thing, but some are way more severe. And my heart goes out to those people. They really need professional help. And if you need professional help, ask for it. There’s no shame in reaching out for help. Exactly. Right. Exactly. But as Kris said, get the right kind of get the interview them.
Kris Godinez 41:26
I’m not even kidding you. I have no problem when somebody calls me up and says, Okay, well, what’s your take on religion? What’s your take on spirituality? What modality do you use? Where did you get your training? I am happy to answer those questions. Because you don’t want to get with a therapist that doesn’t know they’re a hole from a hole in the ground. Does that make sense? So, yeah, so okay, we’ve got another couple of questions up here. How do I handle it when I find myself experiencing joy, happiness, etc. But I get triggered by it. And I shut myself down. Oh, we do that. Oh, my God, I slipped back into those old habits. So how do we break those habits? What do you think?
Marcia Diane 42:04
That’s the work? That is the work, right in our habits? I think it starts with mindset. I think it starts with talking to yourself in a positive way, and recognizing what I call ants, automatic negative thoughts. And who wants to live in a house that’s infested? Right.
Kris Godinez 42:23
Automatic negative thoughts? Yes. Oh, my God. That’s fantastic. I love it.
Marcia Diane 42:30
So, you need to kill the ants. You feel that by incorporating a lot of positive thinking, one of my favorite free mentors and positive thinking is Abraham Hicks, you know, Abraham Hicks, so lots of YouTube videos, and you can put Abraham hicks on YouTube and then the topic because she’s got 1000s of things. So, it RAMAC spirituality, Abraham Hicks anxiety, Abraham Hicks abuse, stuff like that, you’ll get her talking about what where this comes from, and also positive affirmations. But saying positive affirmations over and over and over and over and over, you know, for at least 21 days, it takes 21 days for new neural pathways to be formed in your brain. So, the physical part, and you want to, you know, keep going until it’s just, you know, I’ve overcome a lot of my negative thinking, and now I do it, because we’re going to think all day long, you know, our minds are very active, and we’re thinking, so now I’m thinking, I love myself, I love my work. I’m happy. I’m full of energy, and I’m confident. I mean, I’m still talking to myself like this because
Kris Godinez 43:38
Inner cheerleader instead of the inner critic. Yep. And that’s when I talk about mirror work. That’s why I say it’s so important to start the day with Hi, good to see you have a great day. I give you permission to feel happy. So, you’re breaking that bond of non-permission, and you’re giving yourself permission to feel happy. And when you notice yourself feeling happy. It’s okay for me to feel happy.
Marcia Diane 44:05
And I choose to feel happy I like I choose to because that gives you the power.
Kris Godinez 44:09
Or I get to I get to feel happy. I decided what I decided this, like a throw some middle fingers I would not seriously because our abuser doesn’t want us to feel they don’t want us to be happy. They don’t want us to have anything that they don’t have. So, and they make it sort of looking for they make us wrong when we have genuine emotions, and the genuine emotions that hate the worst are us crying because you know we’re holding them accountable for hurting us or us being happy because it’s a genuine emotion they can’t feel.
Marcia Diane 44:40
So, part of that is disconnecting physically from those people who are abusing you so they’re not even in your space any kind of just connect mentally. Yes, you’ve got to say no, that thought or that’s not my thought. Then I choose that thought now I don’t want to think that thought and tell that thought take a walk take a hike. skies run into the molten core there. Yeah, whatever. Fire
Once you get your spiritual juices flowing, it will tell you what to do. That’s right for you. Right. Like one of the things that I came up with a long time ago that I thought was really cool is I would like to collect all the negative thoughts into a ball and then have it thrown into the air. Like it seemed like blackboards was flying out to the sky. Yeah, not yours, or fireworks. Floating like you said.
Kris Godinez 45:36
And I think humor is huge. I think the, you know, the old saying the devil runs from laughter. So, if you can find the humor in the negative thoughts, you know, like I said, lighting it on fire and watching it run off, you know, it’s run back to the abuser, there you go. You know, it gives you power because they can’t stand it when we’re happy. They can’t stand it when we’re laughing. They can’t stand it when we make fun of them. You know, and it’s really, it’s different than resisting. So, remember, you don’t resist a thought. It’s not No, no, no, no, no, I don’t want to think this thought; it’s you acknowledge it and say, oh, yeah, there it is. I don’t like it. And guess what’s not mine. So why do you know if I was letting it run back to the abuser? So yeah, absolutely.
All right, let’s see what the next question is. How do I get started with meditation, I find myself getting really distracted and having a very hard time letting myself sit quietly.
Marcia Diane 46:29
So, there’s a name for that we call it the monkey mind. Your mind just like a monkey jumping all over the place. And don’t worry about it. It’s okay. Just come back. Yeah. And you know, there’s different forms of meditation. This is one of the things I talked about, in my course, essential mastery that we didn’t talk about too much. I’m sorry, we have a lot to talk about,
Kris Godinez 46:48
Come back, you’re going to have to come back, you know, this.
Marcia Diane 46:53
A number of different types of meditation. Meditation, to me evokes like an Eastern form of meditation, where you sit quietly and still, your mind, what’s your mind doesn’t get still no, we’re Westerners, it’s just not going to happen. There’s also contemplation. Contemplation would be when you read a passage in a book that’s inspiring to you, whether it be one of my books, or some other book, or the Bible, if you’re not, you know, turned off by religion or whatever, find a path, some passages that really, you know, make you feel good make you and then just close your eyes and just mull it over. Think about it. Some people use mantras, you know, just singing certain sounds. You know, there’s many different sounds that that really can evoke a sense of peace. And so, you can do that. And my courses essential mastery, I do a form of guided meditation. And I also do hypnosis and past life regression, which requires deep hypnosis. But in my six modules, so be each module will have a 15-to-20-minute spiritual lecture, I call it transcendent spiritual exercise. But I take you into like a deep state of relaxation. And if you don’t trust me, you can listen to it first. And then before you allow yourself to go into that if you want.
Kris Godinez 48:10
And I wonder that’s a part of it, though. It’s the trust.
Marcia Diane 48:13
It’s trust. Yeah. But see, if when you start doing meditation, go learn to trust yourself, or trust your higher power, or come up with a higher power come up with, you know, archangels’ angels. And you know what, this is a process. It’s not going to happen overnight. It could take decades not to necessarily move the needle, but you might. It’s like growth, like organic growth. Like, if you look at if you live with a child, you look at him or her every day, you don’t see the growth. But if you go away for a year and come back, right, so you move a little needle a little bit and your own growth, and then you know, we’re elastic, our brains are elastic. So, we go back, and you know, I call it like being a dance two steps forward, two steps back. Oh, yeah. But you know, I’m 42 steps forward, three steps back, but eventually, as you continue to do the work, you will make progress. I think we need to see that. Journaling is really important too.
Kris Godinez 49:02
Yes, why is your mind going? Where is it going to? So, the most important thing, though, throughout that whole process is no judgment. Do not judge yourself. It’s going to happen like when I sit down to meditate for two seconds, and have no thoughts? And then it’s like, oh, I need to go grocery shopping. I’m out of humus.
Marcia Diane 49:30
I say what’s in place of acceptance, yes. Accepting, accepting your mind the way it is accepting our life the way it is or emotions, all of what we have to do, just accepting that’s the way it is. You know, and a 12-step program because of a substance abuse counselor. There’s a prayer about us acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. You know, it’s on page 419 of the old book and for 447 on the new book, you know, if you want to look up that But accepting that this is way things are for a purpose, right? This is it’s teaching you something. There’s no mistakes, right? You think there’s mistake because it hurts like, right. But you know, we learn to stop judging ourselves. I don’t say not judge us. We’re going to judge we live in a judgemental on culture
Kris Godinez 50:19
when we noticed that though, we’ve got to be able to go nope, I don’t need to judge myself, right? I mean, yeah, you catch it and gently, not like harshly but just like, No, I don’t need to judge myself. It’s okay. Right now, right here, I’m thinking about hummus.
Marcia Diane 50:33
And the opposite of judgment is mercy. There you go, mercy on yourselves.
Kris Godinez 50:39
It doesn’t mean to be harsh and mean. Right?
Marcia Diane 50:41
And you can just say, I’m mercy on myself, I let that judgment go. And you know, over and over repetition, lots of repetition, you know, your mind will start to come in alignment with what you want.
Kris Godinez 50:53
Try different forms of meditation. So, for example, you know, the cross-legged om thing doesn’t work for me, because my mind is always like, Listen, I got to do this, I’m going to do that. And that’s something I loved was gong meditation. You know, the gong baths, where they lay the gong for what I wasn’t prepared for was how much energy I had afterward when the Shomali I swear to you, I felt like I was on like, speed because I was like, okay, good, clean the house now, you know, I had all this energy. So that’s exactly. Right. So seriously, it’s like trying different types of meditation. So, there’s like the gong meditation. There’s the traditional Eastern meditation. There’s, what’s the one where you do the really incredibly lots of deep breathing and it sends you into the theta it’s, it’s breathing meditation. I don’t know what the name of it is.
Marcia Diane 51:40
It is a very deep state. Yeah, it was cool. It’s not easy to get to that state.
Kris Godinez 51:45
That there is trippy Oh, it’s awesome. Okay, so we were doing that. And one of the classes I was taking, we’re doing like the breathing, you take a lot, a lot, a lot of deep breaths, you hyper oxygenate your blood, and then you just stop breathing for like 30 seconds, or 45 seconds or a minute. And I will never do drugs because my mind it was like colors and patterns and all of this stuff. And I’m like, Dude, I mean, it was the coolest freakin thing. It was really relaxing. So yeah.
Marcia Diane 52:18
Drugs only take it to the astral plane, right? But there are many, many other realms that are finer and higher and closer to soul than that. And that’s where the magic deliciousness is.
Kris Godinez 52:28
That’s a good way to put it. It was delicious. It was delicious meditation. I like that it seriously was it was the trippiest thing I’ve ever done. And I’m like, I got to do that again. That was so cool. So, try different things. Guys, try different types of meditation. Be nice to You. Be gentle. It’s not always going to be you’re not always going to be able to focus on all those days when you can’t. You just notice it and write it down. What does this mean? Why am I why being I focusing on this? What’s going on? You know, that’s it? know yourself. Yeah.
Okay. Um, if I had a miscarriage, Where is my baby? Is it a soul? I grieve the loss almost daily. Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I think of lost children being part of the floating ever, connected universe. I don’t believe in spiritual or religion. I don’t feel like I will unite with the losses on the other side. That saddens me. But is it also acceptance? I would say yeah, for her.
Marcia Diane 53:20
Yeah. Yeah. It’s a level of acceptance, I would just continue to be open minded and continue to take your journey. You know, some people have spontaneous spiritual experiences from out of nowhere, you know, and then you can just go down that path. And you know, my heart totally goes out to you I can’t think of anything worse than losing a child. Whether it’s been born or unborn, I think it’s horrible. So, take yourself take the time you need to grieve. And also take the time that you need to be in nature and have fun and laugh and, you know, don’t feel guilty just because you’re laughing because you have this
Kris Godinez 54:00
survivor’s guilt. Yeah. survivor’s guilt.
Marcia Diane 54:02
Because your baby that left, maybe they came for a reason. You just want to know what that reason is. I know that sounds kind of weird. But yeah, I think I really believe everything happens for a reason.
Kris Godinez 54:12
And I think something that helps with grief, our society, and I’ve talked about this before. Our society is so messed up when it comes to grieving and death. We treat death like it’s not a natural part of living, which it is.
Marcia Diane 54:26
We tell people to just get over it.
Kris Godinez 54:29
I know, not even in a couple of months, not two weeks, I had a client who lost a baby. Two weeks later, the boss was like, You need to get over it. And I’m like, You need to go pound sand there. So, so really, you honor it is a sacred thing grieving. And I think that’s the way that is healthy to look at it. It is a part of life and is part of death. It is a sacred thing. You allow yourself to grieve, and you allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling, and it’s okay and sometimes what helps doesn’t always help, But sometimes what helps is writing a letter to the baby or writing a letter to the person who died, and then reading it out loud. You know, for me, when my mom passed, I would just go into my car and drive and pretend to be talking to her on the phone. Hit on Hi, Mom, leaving a message. Okay, here’s what’s going on today, you know, and that kind of helped me through the grieving process because it just are so much.
Marcia Diane 55:22
That’s I think that we use in a 12-step program was to create what they call the god box, if you don’t believe in God, just call it a grief box. But get a box could be just a shoe box or whatever. And that’s where you can put your letters, that’s where you could put objects, you know if you miscarried and had bought some objects for the baby, or, you know, you can put things that remind you of that soul in the box. And this is your precious container for your feelings and your you know, your physical thing. And then you can pull it out and use it for whatever purposes to help you to deal with your emotions.
Kris Godinez 55:59
And if anyone ever tells you to just get over, tell him to go pound sand, and totally you can say I said so. Because that’s BS that just that makes me so angry, especially a mom or dad losing a child, I’m just like, ah, that is not something you just get over,
Marcia Diane 56:14
There’s a lot of ignorance. And there’s a lot of people that just don’t know. They don’t get it. And at some point, you can develop some compassion for everyone.
Kris Godinez 56:31
Well, it just makes me so angry because it’s another form of victimization. You know, it’s like, okay, we’re dealing with all of this abuse, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Now, somebody goes through an incredible normal, natural process, you know, miscarriage, or, you know, whatever. And now you’ve got some other abuser making you wrong, for being sacred with your own feelings. And that I just, I want, I think this is why I like St. Michael, because I’d like to take that sword and run them through with it.
Marcia Diane 57:02
One of the things that I like about St. Michael, and that you can develop yourself as strength and resilience. Yeah. And you know, no matter how a person, whether they’re trying to be abusive or not, are pushing you down or pushing you, whatever, they’re pushing you, you can use that as I am as my coach. They’re just a relentless coach. But I am going to be stronger and more resilient because of this, in spite of this.
Kris Godinez 57:29
And I think too, it’s, for me, when I’ve had to deal with people that were like, Oh, just get over it. That’s when I found my voice I don’t like I never really had a hard time finding my voice. But that’s when I really was clear, crystal clear in my boundaries. It’s like, this is a boundary, do not effing cross it. And if you do, you’re going to find out why you shouldn’t you know, what I’m saying. And I think that’s important for all of us as survivors is that we’ve often been told it’s not okay for us to have boundaries, or it’s not okay for us to say no to somebody when they’re being inappropriate. Now realize if they’re abusive, they’re going to flip it and make it all you like, oh, how dare you still be grieving? After two weeks? No. And well, I’m going to be grieving the rest of my life. You know, it’s a process, it doesn’t just go away. It’s not like we hit a magic number, and suddenly, everything’s okay. We’re always going to remember that baby, we’re always going to remember that person. We’re always going to remember that whatever. But you know, but its grief is like, how do I explain this grief is like, it’s always there. It’s in the Buddhist way of thinking about it. Living and accepting death is a gentle sadness is the way they describe it, it’s like, you’re always going to love that person, you’re always going to miss that person, you’re always going to grieve their loss, and you’re still going to be living, and you’re still going to be going on and laughing and loving and everything else. So, it’s this gentle sadness. So, it’s a thing.
Marcia Diane 58:54
And to give you a little bit of hope, at some point right down the line, when you have overcome the resentments, and the anger and you know, all this stuff that you’re dealing with now and you moved up the spiritual ladder, and you’re more in touch with yourself as spirit. You can get in touch with that soul. And you can talk to them, and you can listen, and you can hear them that has happened for people. So, I just want to put it out that that’s a possibility. Right? If you can’t do it now, then you can’t do it now, but maybe it’s not the right time for you. But gentle with you.
Kris Godinez 59:28
Yeah, always be. Always Be gentle with yourself. Always. And don’t let other people tell you how to grieve.
Okay, um, is it common for survivors of news for survivors of abuse to feel fear, thinking there’s not enough time to do the good things? Is it? Is it why they rush through life? Oh, that’s interesting. lack and scarcity.
Marcia Diane 59:56
Yeah, well as a rushing person who rushes and actually my parents were Russian, but I’ve always rushed through them, you know, I’m a driver, I liked it. But I would have learned to slowing down is a beautiful practice, you know, a day off a week, you know, in my spiritual or the religion of my childhood, which I totally honor Judaism, they honor the Sabbath once a week on Saturday, you just take the day off, right? You know, you take care of yourself, you just hang out with your family, you just focus on God, you know, don’t focus on work, you know, don’t focus on all that negative stuff. And then, you know, Saturday night comes, if you want to pick a backup, you can pick it back up.
Kris Godinez 1:00:38
And I think for me, being raised with an abusive father, he always pushed us it was always rush, rush, rush, rush, rush, rush, rush. So, there was no, and I think this is intentional because I don’t think abusers want to think, you know, they don’t want to really absorb what’s going on. So, everything is a push; everything is a rush, like, ask John, one of the worst things you can ever do to me is to rush me in the morning, oh, I’ll hurt you. You know what I’m saying, as I’m sitting here, and I’m enjoying my coffee and my dog back off than anybody back off, you know. So, I think part of what we get used to when we’ve been raised by an abuser is that constant Go, go, go, go, go, go go. And it’s, it’s intentional, because they don’t want to have to stop and think. They don’t want to have to realize that they can’t feel, and they certainly don’t want us to stop and think because think about it. If we have the time to stop and think we’re going to go, you know what, I’m not putting up with this anymore. So, it’s intentional. And I think that we do get this sense of lack and scarcity, like there’s not enough time, so much to do, so much to see, not enough time. And I think that, too, is something that our abusers have taught us because I know my dad. I don’t know about your family. Did they ever do that? Do they ever make you feel like there wasn’t enough time and you had to go to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing and the next thing? It was almost like an adrenaline and adrenaline thing, like they were living off the adrenaline, and that is common I have found in survivors of abuse is that we’ve got this. Well, what’s the next thing? What’s the next thing? What’s the next thing? I was like no, no, no! What is this thing?
Marcia Diane 1:02:18
It wasn’t so much go, go, go it was always it was do, do, do. You know, again, and somewhere along the line. I heard this, you know, we’re human beings, not human doings. Frank Sinatra dooby
Kris Godinez 1:02:34
dooby dooby dooby doo. Okay, hold on. Hey, we
Marcia Diane 1:02:37
Still want to do about we definitely want to be a whole lot more. Yeah.
Kris Godinez 1:02:40
Okay. That is, it. We have actually gone over time. Marcia, thank you so much for coming out. This was awesome. I hope this answered the question for people that had questions about spirituality, Buddhism, karma, and mastery. There we go. Go to marciadiane.com. And you can see all of her fabulous paintings. She’s an amazing painter and her books 21 Books everyone how did you do that? I still good lord. I’m still struggling to get my fourth one done. I’m like, Oh, my God.
Marcia Diane 1:03:10
I’m working on blog number 57.
Kris Godinez 1:03:13
Geez Louise woman.
Marcia Diane 1:03:17
My blogs are really cool. I’d love you to go and go check them out there check them out. Yeah, like the learning experience. You’re just going to learn the whole time you know, just take your time and stop rushing it’s not happening right away. Just go take a break. You want to call it bliss break take a bliss break. Okay, so some bliss
Kris Godinez 1:03:36
And stay in the present moment. I think that is the biggest I think that’s why we do the whole lap and security. Not enough time got to do this. Got to do that. I got it. Doo doo doo doo doo. Not be, be, be. So, take your time. Enjoy. Enjoy the present moment. Alright guys, I got to go. We’re way over time. Marsha. Thank you so much. And I’m going to have you back on again. All right, my love’s you guys be good. Next week, we are going to be talking about a betrayal. So, dealing with the trauma of betrayal. So, from parents, from a lover, from friends from whatever and how to process and all that sort of fun stuff. So that’s what we’re going to be talking about. All right, you guys be good. And I’ll talk to you next time.
Thank you so much for listening to this podcast. You can always listen live on YouTube every week Sunday at noon, Arizona Mountain Standard Time. And if you want to find out more or listen to other episodes, you can go to Krisgodinez.com and if you have a chance, subscribe to this show on whatever podcast app you use and let other people know about. I want to thank my sponsor betterhelp.com. They are an online therapy company. Whether you are in the US or international. They will set you up with a qualified licensed therapist. PhD level or Master’s level. If you are interested in more information, go to betterhelp.com/krisgodinez.
You’ve been listening to the podcast version of We Need To Talk with Kris Godinez.