Power and Control

Abusers are all about power and control. What better way to have power and control over someone than to force…...

Abusers are all about power and control. What better way to have power and control over
someone than to force them in to being a parent and sharing custody? Abusers want to secure
their supply so they will future fake their partner into making them believe that they want
children and are excited about being a parent, but, once the child is born, the partner
disappears or is sullen and angry and jealous of the child. Abusers will also sabotage birth
control and have been known to lie about being on birth control or will poke holes in condoms.
Why do they do this? They want to tie their supply to them for the next 18 years. Once the child
is born they shirk responsibility, continue to go out and party as if they were single, but once
the healthy partner has had enough and divorces them or seeks full custody, that is when the
abuse kicks into high gear and the parental alienation of the healthy partner goes ballistic. The
abuser views the child as a pawn, a way to hurt the healthy parent. The disordered abuser does
not give a damn about that child and will tell the child details of the divorce in order to smear
the healthy client, always framing themselves as a victim. Often they will withhold the child
from the healthy parent and by the time the healthy parent gets the child back for normal
visitation the Stockholm Syndrome is in full bloom. It only takes one wee of intense emotional
trauma to get the cognitive dissonance going for people to side with the abuser. When a child is
held hostage by the other parent it is imperative for the healthy parent to get that child in to
therapy.

03-07-2021 THE DRAMA AND COMMUNICATION TRIANGLE

03-07-2021 THE DRAMA AND COMMUNICATION TRIANGLE

In This episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the dreaded drama triangle (Villain, Victim, Hero) and the dreaded triangulation of communication. She goes over how to step out of both sets of dysfunctional triangles and how to stay out!

Abuse and Addictions

Abuse and Addictions

Something I have seen over and over again in my practice is that abuse and addiction go hand in hand with an abuser. Granted, we, the targets are addicted to the intermittent positive rewards, but the abusers? Oh, they have a whole slew of addictions of anything from...

Won’t You Be My Valentine Hoover?

Won’t You Be My Valentine Hoover?

Ahh, February. Spring is just around the corner, love is in the air, Valentine’s Day is nearly here and PING! A Text from your ex who you have not heard from in (fill in the blank) days, weeks, months, years declaring how they miss you and wonder how you are doing and...