Tis the season……for depression?

Well, yes. Unfortunately. When we come out of an abusive romantic relationship, or we finally go no contact with our…...
December 3, 2021

Well, yes. Unfortunately. When we come out of an abusive romantic relationship, or we finally go no contact with our abusive parents, or we leave that dream job because we were being bullied and our ideas stolen, the holiday season (which is also the Hoover season) can be incredibly stressful and filled with depression. But what is non clinical depression really? Clinical depression is when the brain simply cannot produce and maintain the feel good chemicals. Situational depression is when a situation is causing us to feel blue, angry or depressed. In general situation depression often ends up really being repressed anger. Think about it. Were true emotions ever allowed in your family of origin? Were you ever allowed to be angry or did you have to hide what you were feeling? When we leave an abusive relationship and the holidays are coming up and we are still in the middle of the grief, we more than likely are dealing with anger that we were not even conscious of. Throw a nasty guilt tripping hoover or two into the mix and voila! Depression. So how can you combat not only the holiday blues but the holiday hoovers? Get into a damn good trauma therapist and work through what you are feeling. Journal. Write and burn letters addressed to those who did you wrong. Work The Self Esteem Workbook by Glen Schiraldi or CPTSD From Surviving to Thriving. DO NOT sit at home alone and for the love of God DO NOT reach out to your abuser(s)! Do look into support groups, be aware there may be predators in them but good ones weed predators out. Do look into pursuing a hobby or passion that you have not been allowed to do. Do self care!

Gaslighting: The Lies That Dim Reality

Gaslighting: The Lies That Dim Reality

Gaslighting comes from the play and movie “Gaslight” in which the heroine is made to believe she is crazy and losing her mind by her abusive husband. The gas lanterns in the house dim every time he is in the attic searching for her family fortune yet, he insists that...

Love Bombing The Game Abusers Play

Love Bombing The Game Abusers Play

Abusers do not love. They covet. When they meet a potential target for abuse, they want what the target has, which is love, empathy, kindness, compassion. The abuser can only mimic those emotions. Abusers do not understand normal courtship. They want the relationship to move at lightning speed, to mine you for wounds, your past, things that will be used against you later.