April Showers Bring May Flowers

Happy Spring! Now is the time to plant those seeds of your growth and water them! What do I mean?…...
April 1, 2022

Happy Spring! Now is the time to plant those seeds of your growth and water them! What do I
mean? I mean, now is the perfect time to; write and burn goodbye letters to your abuser, get
all of the books I have recommended over the years and start reading/working them, get a
damn good trauma therapist, go low or no contact with abusive or toxic people, do things that
you have always wanted to do, but your abuser would never allow like taking a class or doing a
hobby, let yourself to do self-care as in make that dental appointment, get that physical, see
the dermatologist, take that dance class you always wanted to take, reconnect with the family
and friends that genuinely love you, plan a trip, go where you always wanted to go, see what
you always wanted to see, try new foods, learn a new language, practice mirror work daily
(twice a day), meditate, do yoga, go for long walks, join a gym, go to a meetup, go hiking, get
back in touch with your body, drink plenty of water daily, eat healthy foods but allow yourself
cheat meals every so often, make sure to have days where you do absolutely nothing but binge
watch your favorite show, go see movies with your friends, make sure you have work/life
balance, quit that abusive job and find a healthier one where you are respected and valued and
heard, and last but certainly not least, make time to remember who you were BEFORE the
abuser marched in and turned your life upside down! Also, massive spoiler alert: All of these
suggestions are all really self-care. All of these suggestions are planting seeds for your growth
and your happiness and really for your future.

Is Forgiveness Mandatory?

Is Forgiveness Mandatory?

A lot of survivors of abuse often get pressured from either the abuser themselves or flying monkeys to “forgive” them. Ahem. In short, no! You do not have to “forgive” your abuser. What an abuser means by forgiving them is they want you to “forgive AND forget”...

If Their Lips Are Moving, They Are Lying!

If Their Lips Are Moving, They Are Lying!

Abusers lie, whether they be malignant narcissists or malignant borderlines or co morbid with each other. All cluster B personality disordered abusers lie. They lie often. They lie convincingly and they often believe their own lies. Targets of abuse fall for the lies...

I do but abusers don’t

I do but abusers don’t

Oh June! A beautiful month that is traditionally the marriage month. I hate to say it, but, red flags are usually flying long before the ink on the marriage license is dry. I cannot tell you the number of horror stories where the love bombing stopped immediately after...