Blog

If Their Lips Are Moving, They Are Lying!

If Their Lips Are Moving, They Are Lying!

Abusers lie, whether they be malignant narcissists or malignant borderlines or co morbid with each other. All cluster B personality disordered abusers lie. They lie often. They lie convincingly and they often believe their own lies. Targets of abuse fall for the lies...

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I do but abusers don’t

I do but abusers don’t

Oh June! A beautiful month that is traditionally the marriage month. I hate to say it, but, red flags are usually flying long before the ink on the marriage license is dry. I cannot tell you the number of horror stories where the love bombing stopped immediately after...

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May Day Blog

May Day Blog

The first of May made me think of May Day, which in turn made me think of the distress call that pilots would give in WWII of “May Day, May Day, which meant they were in trouble and looking for help. One of the hardest things a survivor of abuse will ever do is take...

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Intermittent Positive Reward Withdrawal

Intermittent Positive Reward Withdrawal

Congratulations! You’ve left the abusive relationship! Now, you are starting to have post acute withdrawal symptoms just like when someone stops using drugs or alcohol. Our brains have been conditioned by the intermittent positive rewards that the abuser would bestow...

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Abuse and Addictions

Abuse and Addictions

Something I have seen over and over again in my practice is that abuse and addiction go hand in hand with an abuser. Granted, we, the targets are addicted to the intermittent positive rewards, but the abusers? Oh, they have a whole slew of addictions of anything from...

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Won’t You Be My Valentine Hoover?

Won’t You Be My Valentine Hoover?

Ahh, February. Spring is just around the corner, love is in the air, Valentine’s Day is nearly here and PING! A Text from your ex who you have not heard from in (fill in the blank) days, weeks, months, years declaring how they miss you and wonder how you are doing and...

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Ruining The Holidays

Ruining The Holidays

Why? Why do abusers LOVE to either try to ruin the holidays or to try and hoover their exes during the holidays? Abusers do NOT have empathy, they do NOT feel real joy, or love, or any real emotion other than anger.

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Somatic Symptoms

Somatic Symptoms

“My back and neck always hurt.” “My stomach is always in knots.” “I’m exhausted all the time.” “I have an autoimmune disease.” If this sounds familiar and you are a survivor of abuse, you are so not alone. Many, many, many survivors of abuse come out with chronic...

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