Blog

May Day Blog

May Day Blog

The first of May made me think of May Day, which in turn made me think of the distress call that pilots would give in WWII of “May Day, May Day, which meant they were in trouble and looking for help. One of the hardest things a survivor of abuse will ever do is take...

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Intermittent Positive Reward Withdrawal

Intermittent Positive Reward Withdrawal

Congratulations! You’ve left the abusive relationship! Now, you are starting to have post acute withdrawal symptoms just like when someone stops using drugs or alcohol. Our brains have been conditioned by the intermittent positive rewards that the abuser would bestow...

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Abuse and Addictions

Abuse and Addictions

Something I have seen over and over again in my practice is that abuse and addiction go hand in hand with an abuser. Granted, we, the targets are addicted to the intermittent positive rewards, but the abusers? Oh, they have a whole slew of addictions of anything from...

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Won’t You Be My Valentine Hoover?

Won’t You Be My Valentine Hoover?

Ahh, February. Spring is just around the corner, love is in the air, Valentine’s Day is nearly here and PING! A Text from your ex who you have not heard from in (fill in the blank) days, weeks, months, years declaring how they miss you and wonder how you are doing and...

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Ruining The Holidays

Ruining The Holidays

Why? Why do abusers LOVE to either try to ruin the holidays or to try and hoover their exes during the holidays? Abusers do NOT have empathy, they do NOT feel real joy, or love, or any real emotion other than anger.

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Somatic Symptoms

Somatic Symptoms

“My back and neck always hurt.” “My stomach is always in knots.” “I’m exhausted all the time.” “I have an autoimmune disease.” If this sounds familiar and you are a survivor of abuse, you are so not alone. Many, many, many survivors of abuse come out with chronic...

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What is Stockholm Syndrome?

What is Stockholm Syndrome?

Stockholm syndrome is so named because of the reactions of hostages taken in a 1973 bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden. Robbers took hostages and kept them for a week threatening to kill them and then giving them food or sharing details of their lives with them, which,...

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Gaslighting: The Lies That Dim Reality

Gaslighting: The Lies That Dim Reality

Gaslighting comes from the play and movie “Gaslight” in which the heroine is made to believe she is crazy and losing her mind by her abusive husband. The gas lanterns in the house dim every time he is in the attic searching for her family fortune yet, he insists that...

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