May Day Blog

The first of May made me think of May Day, which in turn made me think of the distress call…...
May 3, 2021

The first of May made me think of May Day, which in turn made me think of the distress call
that pilots would give in WWII of “May Day, May Day, which meant they were in trouble and
looking for help. One of the hardest things a survivor of abuse will ever do is take that first
tentative, trembling step to getting help to leave. Why is it so damn hard to ask for help? Well,
for one, we are afraid that no one will believe us and for another it is so hard to imagine life
actually getting better when we leave that we often psych ourselves out of getting the help we
so desperately want and need. Trust me, life gets so much better when we leave the abusive
situation and reach out for help. That does not mean that it will be fun or easy at first, but, it
does get better. A couple of organizations to look for help from are findhelp.org which used to
be Aunt Bertha, which will connect you to much needed social services and low cost to no cost
services and here in Arizona Fresh Start Women’s Resource center which is a local center that
helps women with everything from resumes to legal aid. https://www.freshstartwomen.org.
Reaching out for help and vocalizing that we are being abused is without a doubt, scary. It must
be done, however, if you want to change your life and get away from the abuse and the abuser.
Part of why we don’t reach out for help is also a low self esteem issue as in “Why would anyone
care enough to help me?” Trust me, lots of people care, all you have to do is reach out and take
that first step. Do it!

03-07-2021 THE DRAMA AND COMMUNICATION TRIANGLE

03-07-2021 THE DRAMA AND COMMUNICATION TRIANGLE

In This episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the dreaded drama triangle (Villain, Victim, Hero) and the dreaded triangulation of communication. She goes over how to step out of both sets of dysfunctional triangles and how to stay out!

Abuse and Addictions

Abuse and Addictions

Something I have seen over and over again in my practice is that abuse and addiction go hand in hand with an abuser. Granted, we, the targets are addicted to the intermittent positive rewards, but the abusers? Oh, they have a whole slew of addictions of anything from...

Won’t You Be My Valentine Hoover?

Won’t You Be My Valentine Hoover?

Ahh, February. Spring is just around the corner, love is in the air, Valentine’s Day is nearly here and PING! A Text from your ex who you have not heard from in (fill in the blank) days, weeks, months, years declaring how they miss you and wonder how you are doing and...