May You Have Peace!

May You Have Peace!

One thing abusers want more than anything else in the world is control. The more pathological they are, i.e., NPD, ASPD, and Machiavellian or Dark Triad, the more they stalk, the more they smear, and the more they seek control over the target. They want to control the...
Imposter Syndrome!

Imposter Syndrome!

When we leave an abusive relationship, whether it be romantic, parental, friend, boss, coworker, or otherwise, we are often left with almost debilitating self-doubt about ourselves, our abilities, and who the heck we are in this crazy world. Why? Because abusers love...
Valentine Hoovers

Valentine Hoovers

Ah, yes! Love is in the air! However, you just broke up with a narcissistic abuser and every fiber of your being either wants them back or, wants to start dating immediately to ease the loneliness. Let me explain why both of those options are exceedingly bad and...
Future Faking

Future Faking

Congratulations you made it through the majority of the Hoover Season! We are, however, not out of the woods yet! That’s right! The dreaded Valentine’s Day is a little over a month away and trust me, the hoovers are not over yet! Instead of walking down memory lane,...
Saying “No” is necessary

Saying “No” is necessary

Many abuse survivors have an incredibly hard time saying “No”. Why? Because either because of our family of origin or because of spending years with an abusive romantic partner or spending years in an abusive work environment we have learned that the word “no” equals...
Tis the season for the hoover

Tis the season for the hoover

Yes, the hoover. October is not just for Halloween. This time of year from now until mid February you will get all kinds of hoovers from narcissistic or disordered family, friends and exes. The hoovers will be everything from the “Let’s take a walk down memory lane...