If Their Lips Are Moving, They Are Lying!

Abusers lie, whether they be malignant narcissists or malignant borderlines or co morbid with each other. All cluster B personality…...

Abusers lie, whether they be malignant narcissists or malignant borderlines or co morbid with each other. All cluster B personality disordered abusers lie. They lie often. They lie convincingly and they often believe their own lies. Targets of abuse fall for the lies because we WANT desperately to believe the pretty words flowing from their lips. You can’t. You cannot believe a single thing the abuser says no matter how convincingly they say it. What you do want to do is look at the actions. Actions ALWAYS speak LOUDER than words. Always. An abuser may be able to give a convincing performance with words but how they act always gives them away. Believe the actions, not the words. If the words and actions do not match up there is your clue that they are lying. When caught in a lie they will say things like “Everybody lies!” Yes, non cluster B people do tend to do white lies, but not dark lies with malice a forethought that abusers have and non cluster B people do not lie frequently, or as convincingly and they do not believe their own lies. There is an actual moral compass in non cluster B people that is missing in Narcissists, Malignant Borderlines and Anti Social Personality disordered people. Non personality disordered people will own up to lying. A personality disordered abuser will become angry and defensive that you caught them in a lie and begin either a word salad rant or making excuses for why they had to lie or both. So, what can you do? Watch the behavior. Is lying a pattern for them? Does it come easy for them? Do they believe their own lies? Believe the behaviors, not the pretty, pretty words.

06-26-2022 Becoming an Individual

06-26-2022 Becoming an Individual

In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the importance of overcoming fear and mistaken beliefs, and mistaken thoughts.

Am I The Narcissist?

Am I The Narcissist?

You would not believe, (or maybe you would!) how many times I get asked that. Please put your mind at ease…if you are worried about being the narcissist or the abuser I can pretty much guarantee that you are not! Abusers and narcissists in particular do not care if...

Throwback Thursday: 05-23-2021 ENMESHMENT

Throwback Thursday: 05-23-2021 ENMESHMENT

It’s throwback Thursday, and we’ve got an episode from the archives for you from May 2021. In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the dangers of an enmeshed relationship. What it is, what to expect when you decide to end it and how to cope.