If Their Lips Are Moving, They Are Lying!

Abusers lie, whether they be malignant narcissists or malignant borderlines or co morbid with each other. All cluster B personality…...

Abusers lie, whether they be malignant narcissists or malignant borderlines or co morbid with each other. All cluster B personality disordered abusers lie. They lie often. They lie convincingly and they often believe their own lies. Targets of abuse fall for the lies because we WANT desperately to believe the pretty words flowing from their lips. You can’t. You cannot believe a single thing the abuser says no matter how convincingly they say it. What you do want to do is look at the actions. Actions ALWAYS speak LOUDER than words. Always. An abuser may be able to give a convincing performance with words but how they act always gives them away. Believe the actions, not the words. If the words and actions do not match up there is your clue that they are lying. When caught in a lie they will say things like “Everybody lies!” Yes, non cluster B people do tend to do white lies, but not dark lies with malice a forethought that abusers have and non cluster B people do not lie frequently, or as convincingly and they do not believe their own lies. There is an actual moral compass in non cluster B people that is missing in Narcissists, Malignant Borderlines and Anti Social Personality disordered people. Non personality disordered people will own up to lying. A personality disordered abuser will become angry and defensive that you caught them in a lie and begin either a word salad rant or making excuses for why they had to lie or both. So, what can you do? Watch the behavior. Is lying a pattern for them? Does it come easy for them? Do they believe their own lies? Believe the behaviors, not the pretty, pretty words.

The Drama Triangle

The Drama Triangle

Abusers need chaos and drama the way the rest of us need air. Drama is how they feed their insatiable need for ego supply. Remember, speak well of them or speak ill of them, they don’t care… as long as you speak OF them. Abusers create an unending supply of chaos and...

05-15-2022 Mini Me The Golden One

05-15-2022 Mini Me The Golden One

In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses family roles, specifically, the golden child. Why the abuser needs the roles and how those roles affect the family members.