Imposter Syndrome!

When we leave an abusive relationship, whether it be romantic, parental, friend, boss, coworker, or otherwise, we are often left…...
March 1, 2022

When we leave an abusive relationship, whether it be romantic, parental, friend, boss,
coworker, or otherwise, we are often left with almost debilitating self-doubt about ourselves,
our abilities, and who the heck we are in this crazy world. Why? Because abusers love to pull
the rug out from underneath us with gaslighting, lying, rewriting history, and the like, and
because we have been groomed to believe the abuser rather than our own gut and our own
instincts we often feel like we, the survivors are the ones who are not real. WRONG! The abuser
is the one who is a fake! They love to tell us that we are nothing without them, when in fact, we
do way better without them. The best way to overcome imposter syndrome that unnerving
feeling that you will be called out for being a fake is to remind yourself who the real fake is and
to start working on your self-esteem and your boundaries. Get practicing trusting your own gut,
your own instinct, listening to your own internal voice as opposed to the internal critic. You
have to tell the internal critic to shut the hell up and immediately replace it with the polar
opposite positive thought or message. Do mirror work where you take ownership of your own
abilities and your own talents. “Hi! Good to see you! Have a great day! You know what? You DO
know what you are doing! You are smart! You are talented! You are loved and lovable! You are
worthy of your own time, love and attention! Go have a great day!” Seriously and no that isn’t
narcissistic. That is the basis and foundation of good self-esteem! Narcissists and true imposters
scream to the world they are great. Real people don’t have to.

03-07-2021 THE DRAMA AND COMMUNICATION TRIANGLE

03-07-2021 THE DRAMA AND COMMUNICATION TRIANGLE

In This episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the dreaded drama triangle (Villain, Victim, Hero) and the dreaded triangulation of communication. She goes over how to step out of both sets of dysfunctional triangles and how to stay out!

Abuse and Addictions

Abuse and Addictions

Something I have seen over and over again in my practice is that abuse and addiction go hand in hand with an abuser. Granted, we, the targets are addicted to the intermittent positive rewards, but the abusers? Oh, they have a whole slew of addictions of anything from...

Won’t You Be My Valentine Hoover?

Won’t You Be My Valentine Hoover?

Ahh, February. Spring is just around the corner, love is in the air, Valentine’s Day is nearly here and PING! A Text from your ex who you have not heard from in (fill in the blank) days, weeks, months, years declaring how they miss you and wonder how you are doing and...