May Day Blog

The first of May made me think of May Day, which in turn made me think of the distress call…...
May 3, 2021

The first of May made me think of May Day, which in turn made me think of the distress call
that pilots would give in WWII of “May Day, May Day, which meant they were in trouble and
looking for help. One of the hardest things a survivor of abuse will ever do is take that first
tentative, trembling step to getting help to leave. Why is it so damn hard to ask for help? Well,
for one, we are afraid that no one will believe us and for another it is so hard to imagine life
actually getting better when we leave that we often psych ourselves out of getting the help we
so desperately want and need. Trust me, life gets so much better when we leave the abusive
situation and reach out for help. That does not mean that it will be fun or easy at first, but, it
does get better. A couple of organizations to look for help from are findhelp.org which used to
be Aunt Bertha, which will connect you to much needed social services and low cost to no cost
services and here in Arizona Fresh Start Women’s Resource center which is a local center that
helps women with everything from resumes to legal aid. https://www.freshstartwomen.org.
Reaching out for help and vocalizing that we are being abused is without a doubt, scary. It must
be done, however, if you want to change your life and get away from the abuse and the abuser.
Part of why we don’t reach out for help is also a low self esteem issue as in “Why would anyone
care enough to help me?” Trust me, lots of people care, all you have to do is reach out and take
that first step. Do it!

Won’t You Be My Valentine Hoover?

Won’t You Be My Valentine Hoover?

Ahh, February. Spring is just around the corner, love is in the air, Valentine’s Day is nearly here and PING! A Text from your ex who you have not heard from in (fill in the blank) days, weeks, months, years declaring how they miss you and wonder how you are doing and...

Ruining The Holidays

Ruining The Holidays

Why? Why do abusers LOVE to either try to ruin the holidays or to try and hoover their exes during the holidays? Abusers do NOT have empathy, they do NOT feel real joy, or love, or any real emotion other than anger.

Weddings, Funerals and Finances

Weddings, Funerals and Finances

Abusers, narcissists in particular cannot stand it when they are not the center of attention and the one in “control”.