May Day Blog

The first of May made me think of May Day, which in turn made me think of the distress call…...
May 3, 2021

The first of May made me think of May Day, which in turn made me think of the distress call
that pilots would give in WWII of “May Day, May Day, which meant they were in trouble and
looking for help. One of the hardest things a survivor of abuse will ever do is take that first
tentative, trembling step to getting help to leave. Why is it so damn hard to ask for help? Well,
for one, we are afraid that no one will believe us and for another it is so hard to imagine life
actually getting better when we leave that we often psych ourselves out of getting the help we
so desperately want and need. Trust me, life gets so much better when we leave the abusive
situation and reach out for help. That does not mean that it will be fun or easy at first, but, it
does get better. A couple of organizations to look for help from are findhelp.org which used to
be Aunt Bertha, which will connect you to much needed social services and low cost to no cost
services and here in Arizona Fresh Start Women’s Resource center which is a local center that
helps women with everything from resumes to legal aid. https://www.freshstartwomen.org.
Reaching out for help and vocalizing that we are being abused is without a doubt, scary. It must
be done, however, if you want to change your life and get away from the abuse and the abuser.
Part of why we don’t reach out for help is also a low self esteem issue as in “Why would anyone
care enough to help me?” Trust me, lots of people care, all you have to do is reach out and take
that first step. Do it!

09-26-2021 – PLAYING KEEPAWAY IN DIVORCE

09-26-2021 – PLAYING KEEPAWAY IN DIVORCE

In this episode of “We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez” Kris discusses parental alienation, the hows and why’s of parental alienation and how that effects the kids, both the little kids and grown adult children. Why would a parent do such a thing? More importantly, how can you help your child if the ex starts trying to smear you and alienate you from your child’s affections. What therapies work with younger children? Kris answers the question of what kids of all ages really need from their parent. At around the half hour mark Kris answers listeners questions on abusive/toxic relationships and questions on mental health in general.

Is Forgiveness Mandatory?

Is Forgiveness Mandatory?

A lot of survivors of abuse often get pressured from either the abuser themselves or flying monkeys to “forgive” them. Ahem. In short, no! You do not have to “forgive” your abuser. What an abuser means by forgiving them is they want you to “forgive AND forget”...

If Their Lips Are Moving, They Are Lying!

If Their Lips Are Moving, They Are Lying!

Abusers lie, whether they be malignant narcissists or malignant borderlines or co morbid with each other. All cluster B personality disordered abusers lie. They lie often. They lie convincingly and they often believe their own lies. Targets of abuse fall for the lies...