Scary October!!

Most people think the scariest thing about October is Halloween. In reality October is scary because it is the beginning…...

Most people think the scariest thing about October is Halloween. In reality October is scary
because it is the beginning of the hoover season. Between now and right after Valentine’s Day
is when the emotional vampires attempt to feed. Abusers need constant narcissistic supply and
what better time of year to seduce a former lover back, than the holiday season? When abusers
run out of supply, they will contact old lovers, friends, etc hoping to play on the nostalgia of the
season to convince the target to give them “just one more try.” This hoover can happen literally
decades after last contact. If the target of abuse has not worked on the trauma of the
relationship and or the trauma of their family of origin, they are very much in danger of falling
for the abuser’s promise of “It will be different this time! I’ve changed!” Because that inner
child part of us wants to believe they have gotten better. Let me be incredible blunt: THEY. DO.
NOT. CHANGE!!! They don’t get better. They don’t become self-aware. They don’t take
responsibility for their actions. They simply throw out bait and see if the target will bite. You
have got to make yourself impervious to their charade. Like garlic to repel a vampire, write out
a list of why you went no contact in the first place. Write out your list of deal breakers and see
how many of your personal boundaries they crossed. No matter how tempted you are to
respond to their email, text, phone call…DON’T! It will not end well! They have already showed
you who they really are, what kind of monster they really are for your own safety, believe them
the first time! You don’t need a repeat of their past behaviors. Ingore. Block.

01-30-2022 Do NOT Ignore These Behaviors

01-30-2022 Do NOT Ignore These Behaviors

In this episode of We Need To Talk with Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the definitions in the DSM 5 of the Cluster B personality disorder and goes into depth about how those behaviors present themselves.

Valentine Hoovers

Valentine Hoovers

Ah, yes! Love is in the air! However, you just broke up with a narcissistic abuser and every fiber of your being either wants them back or, wants to start dating immediately to ease the loneliness. Let me explain why both of those options are exceedingly bad and...

01-23-2022 Warning Signs and Red Flags

01-23-2022 Warning Signs and Red Flags

In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris talks about the warning signs of abuse from dating all the way through to the devalue and discard.