by Kris Godinez | Gaslighting
Many abuse survivors have an incredibly hard time saying “No”. Why? Because either because of our family of origin or because of spending years with an abusive romantic partner or spending years in an abusive work environment we have learned that the word “no” equals...
by Kris Godinez | Gaslighting
Yes, the hoover. October is not just for Halloween. This time of year from now until mid February you will get all kinds of hoovers from narcissistic or disordered family, friends and exes. The hoovers will be everything from the “Let’s take a walk down memory lane...
by John Godinez | Gaslighting
A lot of survivors of abuse often get pressured from either the abuser themselves or flying monkeys to “forgive” them. Ahem. In short, no! You do not have to “forgive” your abuser. What an abuser means by forgiving them is they want you to “forgive AND forget”...
by Kris Godinez | Gaslighting, Love bombing, Mask wearing
Abusers lie, whether they be malignant narcissists or malignant borderlines or co morbid with each other. All cluster B personality disordered abusers lie. They lie often. They lie convincingly and they often believe their own lies. Targets of abuse fall for the lies...
by Kris Godinez | Gaslighting
The first of May made me think of May Day, which in turn made me think of the distress call that pilots would give in WWII of “May Day, May Day, which meant they were in trouble and looking for help. One of the hardest things a survivor of abuse will ever do is take...
by Kris Godinez | Gaslighting, Love bombing
Something I have seen over and over again in my practice is that abuse and addiction go hand in hand with an abuser. Granted, we, the targets are addicted to the intermittent positive rewards, but the abusers? Oh, they have a whole slew of addictions of anything from...
