I do but abusers don’t

Oh June! A beautiful month that is traditionally the marriage month. I hate to say it, but, red flags are…...
June 1, 2021

Oh June! A beautiful month that is traditionally the marriage month. I hate to say it, but, red
flags are usually flying long before the ink on the marriage license is dry. I cannot tell you the
number of horror stories where the love bombing stopped immediately after the vows and the
neglect, devalue and discard started, or worse the abuser took the wedding as an opportunity
to “hook up” with a bridesmaid or an old girlfriend almost daring someone to expose their
indiscretion/blatant abuse/betrayal. And it isn’t just a potential spouse you have to be aware
of. Let’s say you and your beloved are healthy and not disordered, but family members are. Be
aware that abusers LOVE to ruin important days, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and
especially weddings. You will see either the MIL or the mother of the bride act like it is HER
wedding, or the FIL or father of the bride will do inappropriate things like the toast and make it
all about them or how much they spent on this wedding or something inappropriate. So, what
to do? Pay attention to red flags whether they are from your beloved or your family or their
family. Make it CLEAR shenanigans will not be tolerated. You are under NO obligation to include
people you KNOW will sabotage your special day. If the family of origin, whether his or hers,
puts the “fun” in dysfunctional you would be wise to consider eloping. Yes, the ones who
wanted to cause drama will pitch a fit, but remember, this day is about you and your spouse (if
they are healthy) not about the drama seeking dysfunctional family of origin members. No is
your friend. Use it wisely, use it well, never ignore red flags.

04-16-2023 All The Lies

04-16-2023 All The Lies

In this weeks episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris talks about why abusers lie, what pathological lying is and what cognitive dissonance is and why targets sometimes stay with abuser even in the face of overwhelming evidence that they are bad for them.

Communal (Cult) Narcissists

Communal (Cult) Narcissists

Communal narcissists are ones who use religious teachings to gather people to them and, once the people have been gathered, to abuse the living crap out of them, even to the point of death. It makes no sense, to a sane person, that the narcissist wants their followers...