If Their Lips Are Moving, They Are Lying!

Abusers lie, whether they be malignant narcissists or malignant borderlines or co morbid with each other. All cluster B personality…...

Abusers lie, whether they be malignant narcissists or malignant borderlines or co morbid with each other. All cluster B personality disordered abusers lie. They lie often. They lie convincingly and they often believe their own lies. Targets of abuse fall for the lies because we WANT desperately to believe the pretty words flowing from their lips. You can’t. You cannot believe a single thing the abuser says no matter how convincingly they say it. What you do want to do is look at the actions. Actions ALWAYS speak LOUDER than words. Always. An abuser may be able to give a convincing performance with words but how they act always gives them away. Believe the actions, not the words. If the words and actions do not match up there is your clue that they are lying. When caught in a lie they will say things like “Everybody lies!” Yes, non cluster B people do tend to do white lies, but not dark lies with malice a forethought that abusers have and non cluster B people do not lie frequently, or as convincingly and they do not believe their own lies. There is an actual moral compass in non cluster B people that is missing in Narcissists, Malignant Borderlines and Anti Social Personality disordered people. Non personality disordered people will own up to lying. A personality disordered abuser will become angry and defensive that you caught them in a lie and begin either a word salad rant or making excuses for why they had to lie or both. So, what can you do? Watch the behavior. Is lying a pattern for them? Does it come easy for them? Do they believe their own lies? Believe the behaviors, not the pretty, pretty words.

10-30-2022 You Are Not the UN. Stop Peace Keeping.

10-30-2022 You Are Not the UN. Stop Peace Keeping.

In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses how “Peace Keeping” is not only a co-dependent response, it is, in fact, a trauma response! The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.

November Holiday Blog

November Holiday Blog

Ah, November! The air is crisp, the holidays are coming up and you are a bundle of anxiety over how to keep your sanity with your family or ex, or both. Abusers are notorious for ruining the holidays! It doesn’t matter what holiday. Thanksgiving? They’ll ruin it!...

10-23-2022 Over Sharing!

10-23-2022 Over Sharing!

In this episode of We Need to Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris talks about why survivors of abuse overshare and why oversharing can be detrimental.