If Their Lips Are Moving, They Are Lying!

Abusers lie, whether they be malignant narcissists or malignant borderlines or co morbid with each other. All cluster B personality…...

Abusers lie, whether they be malignant narcissists or malignant borderlines or co morbid with each other. All cluster B personality disordered abusers lie. They lie often. They lie convincingly and they often believe their own lies. Targets of abuse fall for the lies because we WANT desperately to believe the pretty words flowing from their lips. You can’t. You cannot believe a single thing the abuser says no matter how convincingly they say it. What you do want to do is look at the actions. Actions ALWAYS speak LOUDER than words. Always. An abuser may be able to give a convincing performance with words but how they act always gives them away. Believe the actions, not the words. If the words and actions do not match up there is your clue that they are lying. When caught in a lie they will say things like “Everybody lies!” Yes, non cluster B people do tend to do white lies, but not dark lies with malice a forethought that abusers have and non cluster B people do not lie frequently, or as convincingly and they do not believe their own lies. There is an actual moral compass in non cluster B people that is missing in Narcissists, Malignant Borderlines and Anti Social Personality disordered people. Non personality disordered people will own up to lying. A personality disordered abuser will become angry and defensive that you caught them in a lie and begin either a word salad rant or making excuses for why they had to lie or both. So, what can you do? Watch the behavior. Is lying a pattern for them? Does it come easy for them? Do they believe their own lies? Believe the behaviors, not the pretty, pretty words.

02-13-2022 Emotional Safety 

02-13-2022 Emotional Safety 

In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses how to feel and have emotional safety. Spoiler alert! It doesn’t come from another person!!

02-06-2022 Aftermath Friends, Family, Exes

02-06-2022 Aftermath Friends, Family, Exes

In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses what to expect from friends, family, and exes when the target of abuse decides to leave the abuse.  

01-30-2022 Do NOT Ignore These Behaviors

01-30-2022 Do NOT Ignore These Behaviors

In this episode of We Need To Talk with Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the definitions in the DSM 5 of the Cluster B personality disorder and goes into depth about how those behaviors present themselves.